Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
