office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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