Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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