My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
