why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The adults are the big ones right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
