using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
