i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
