The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's get the cat blown out
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i black out too much to be "responsible"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
