So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
