I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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