I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
