hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize