but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
