i just had sex bonerless
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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