awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
