Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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