Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
