drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
