i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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