doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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