Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
