I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
