You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
