My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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