I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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