i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How does it feel to date your dad?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
