I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
