remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
