dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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