Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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