i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
