Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
