Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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