i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
