I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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