he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
