so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
