i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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