I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
