have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
