Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
