this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
