i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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