Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
