Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
