She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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