thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
