my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
