Dual....:-)
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
