ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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