is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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