Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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