Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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