Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
