If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
