1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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