Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
