The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
