I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
