he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
