rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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