i barfeds in our rink
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
