I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Panties = found
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
