Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
