Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
