is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
